No eclipse for me...

So, I just ducked outside on my lunch break to see this eclipse and what do you know? It's completely cloudy here and I can't see a dang thing. The moon and I have a love/hate relationship that goes way back. I guess we aren't speaking to each other tonight...

I was really looking forward to seeing the eclipse too... Damn you, moon!

Pound out the writing

One of the first things that I ever remember wanting to be when I "grew" up was a writer. I spent hours as a kid in my own little dream world creating stories in my head and acting them out. My pseudonym was "Emily Wiseman" (why that, I have no fucking clue...) and I dreamed of being a famous newspaper reporter or novelist. When I was a kid, I always assumed that I would eventually grow up one day and the creative juices would flow, and I would write, and people would read it, and I would become an overnight sensation.

Now, I am 25 years old. I work 40 hours a week at nights, pounding out reply emails to people who need help with their printers and fax machines. The work is mundane, and half the time, I can respond to the emails with little or no thought.

I think the bright eyed little girl with the writer's handle of "Emily Wiseman" is still trapped somewhere inside this body. All these stories and book ideas floating around in my head seem to be trapped though. I wish I could figure out how to get them out so the rest of the world can see how imaginative I really am...

Make the craziness stop.

Once again, back at work. I am working a bit of overtime this morning, but my mind is so heavy and full, I had to take a quick break to tap out some of these thoughts before I literally go insane. Without me going too much into my background story, I have to say that I am so sick and tired of some people who came out of the same situation as me. I don't dislike them as people or anything, but I am really tired of their talking about others behind their backs and basically being that annoying person who likes to keep shit stirred up.

Have you ever had someone want to discuss something juicy or gossipy with you and before they delve into it, they make you promise not to tell ANYONE else?? Yeah, those kind of people annoy me. I used to go along with it because, let's face it, I am a naturally curious individual who can be somewhat nosy. But I like to discuss the things I hear with others, and I have started not letting people tell me things if they want to tack such conditions onto it. If I know something about someone else, and I KNOW they don't want it spread around, I will do my best to make sure that I honor that. I mean, I would want people to treat me the same way if they knew something about me that I didn't want to get out.

Ok, so I thought typing all this out would make me feel better, but reading back over it, I feel more confused and outraged than before.

Seriously, I wish someone would make the madness go away.

A time for everything...

I was just glancing back over my past blogs, (yes, all two of them) and I haven't decided yet if I like the white text on the black background. It seems to suit the dark drabness of my current posts, so I may leave it that way for now. Maybe I can change it to leprechauns shitting rainbows when my sunny disposition towards life shows up. Of course, seeing as I have never had a sunny disposition, my blog may look pretty boring and bland for an undetermined amount of time.

My last two blogs were both written very early in the morning whilst I sat at work pondering how in the world I have allowed myself to lead a no-life existence working the night shift for 2 years. I assumed that would be the catchy thing about my blog. Random sputterings of a sleep deprived night worker who answers stupid tech support questions in the middle of night to those too dumb enough to read a freaking owner's manual. But now, it is mid morning, and I am sitting at home in front of my computer telling myself over and over that I need to get into bed soon. So I just broke the one common denominator that could have made this blog noteworthy and something that other intelligent life may want to read.

Yay. Go me.

I ponder...

Today has been rather... interesting, to say the least. Working nights blurs my days together until I sometimes I can't even remember what day I am supposed to be in. I was able to see my "man-friend" today before sleeping, and that's always nice. I am still miffed at him over a few tiny things, but now is not the time or place to dredge that whole situation up.

I like the fact that the weekend is almost here. One last night at work, and then the freedom and bliss of sitting at home in my PJs for two days. I can almost hear my house sighing in delight over the fact that I will stay in for so long. I like to think that my house likes having me around. Of course, I may be picking up residual feelings it has for my roommates, but still... I claim that warm happy house feeling all for myself today!

I still haven't quite sorted out in my head which direction I am going to take this blog. I almost don't want to included details of my personal life, just so it can be the wildly amusing, poetic, and philosophical ramblings that I get to hear in my head all day, every day. I've always said that so many more people would adore me if they could here the fanciful thoughts and ideas that I have. Of course, they would also be subjected to the horrific and appalling thoughts that come through quite frequently, but oh well... Can't have the good without a little bit of the crazy and psychotic.

I want to be able to have a blog that lots of nice and interesting people read and comment on. I don't know how to put myself out there and get my blog read though. I assume I could do that by going out and finding blogs I fins interesting and following them. I tried doing that earlier, but I have such a wide range of tastes and likes, and I don't think I can properly follow the correct blogs until I sort out what kind of blog I am going to have.

*sighs* Methinks this is going to be harder than I originally thought...

Much needed... something

I ran across several inspiring blogs tonight while browsing the interwebs, and it made me kick myself once again for not being able to keep up with my own blog over the past few years. Frankly though, I am glad that I have not been able to. There is a lot of bullshit that has occurred in my life over the past 5 years that I care not to relive. And yes, that even means chronicled in a long forgotten blog archive.

I have no idea who is going to read this new collection of musings that I am starting. I have decided not to advertise this blog on my facebook page. My facebook comprises mostly friends and family who I hardly ever see. Most of them are uber conservative, super religious people. I know I shouldn't care about what they all think about me and the way I live my life, but for the time being, I still seem to care. That's one mental hangup I can't quite seem to let go of.

I linked this blog to my Twitter, and for the most part, that is my outlet to the rest of the world that shows the true me. I think I want this blog to morph into a tiny glimpse into my life plan to prove the world wrong about the misconceptions that most form about others. I know that is a daunting task to take on. but I truly believe that if enough people in this great big world took on the same challenge, our planet would be an awesome place to call home.

I don't want to bore with long blog posts and I already think that this one is long enough, so yeah...